My sister-in-law, Stephanie, is as beautiful, intelligent and centered today as she was at 20. So her excitement at turning thirty, last year ;), even though it baffled me, I knew that for her it was just a number. She's looked forward to the sparkly age of 30 her whole life. Next week I will be 29 and I'm dreading it. Why?? I don't really know. Probably because in my brain I graduated just the other day...from high school. I'm afraid to grow up, to be responsible, to make decisions that seem to have such finality it scares the CRAP out of me. Like children. OK, maybe it's a few years late to be worried about these two young people. I know, that I...with a little help from T-ster, created these two people...I just get nervous that I'm not enough for them. I worry that they deserve a mother that has her head on straight. Often, well most days really, I feel like a person just trying to get started. I even make excuses to myself about how I'm going to get there someday when I'm an adult. Humph...
Lucy decided the other night that she didn't want to eat her dinner. She often does this and then thinks that she needs a "snack" before bedtime. Usually her idea of a snack is a very unhealthy, processed and very nicely packaged item with a shelf life of 20 years. She typically wins the snack battle which is problem #1. But problem #2 which is most definitely the BIGGER issue is that I'm the one who brings the junk into the house. I struggle with my weight. Always have. I can lose if I set my mind to it...it's just a very tough mindset for me to be in. But I don't want my kiddos growing up thinking Oreo's and milk are the perfect bedtime "snack." Do I want them to know the joy of an Oreo...absolutely! But you see my struggle.
Anyway, lost my train of thought there...back to Lucy and her not eating her dinner. She got to whining about wanting to get down from the table. She was told she had to take 4 more bites for being 4 years old..very logical I thought. And yet she continued to cry...I asked her what was wrong...and with her ever growing snot mustache she sobbed, "I just want everyone in Flora." It was cute and sad (really she just didn't want to eat but her response pulled at my heartstrings).
What I didn't tell Lulu was I often want everyone in Flora too...being away is different. Easy some days, hard others but always different.
Sarah, one of Tyler's little sisters, is getting married Labor Day weekend. I'm so excited I could pee my pants! They are a gorgeous couple...with kindness, smarts and an awesome relationship to boot! I can't wait to celebrate with Derek and Sarah on their big day! She will be a stunning bride and he a groom that any girl would feel so blessed to see standing at the end of the aisle... waiting...to give himself to her! It gives me goosebumps and makes me smile from ear to ear. I love them so!
Margaret, my sister, is getting married the very next weekend! I have waited for this day for a very long time...and it was so worth the wait! Travis fits our family perfectly. He is, without a doubt, the other brother that I never had and always wanted. This will be a joyous day for my family and my heart wonders if it can handle such an amazing event. It's awfully tender right now (aka I've been a HUGE cry baby lately!) and I've had a very hard time with my sisters deciding to take the names of the men they love. In my heart we are Allison's...us three girls, my sisters...my very best friends. Margaret is breathtaking on any ordinary day of the week...so naturally in a wedding gown she will look PHENOMENAL! ;)
There is a quote I read the other day that gave me comfort...
Trust in what you love, continue to work hard and it will take you where you need to go!
I love our God. He listens, tirelessly to me and gives me answers when I need them. And I am thankful every single day for a life that is saved. For a love so great that I can't even imagine. I will trust in Him.
I love my family, Tyler, Lucy and Will, they give me such joy and make me feel so loved and wanted on a hourly basis! My parents, sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews love and accept me for who I am...they are the amazing extras in my life that I feel like I would be lost without. My Mom is my light and always has been. I will trust in them.
I have so many friends that feel like family...and they just keep coming. I continue to meet people who enrich my life and make me a better person. I love them and I will trust in that.
I love my job...and I'm serious...I LOVE it. If I ever thought as a 6 year old diva that someday I would be a jewelry lady I probably would have wished away so many days...just to get to this moment. SO, I will trust in that and the amazing company I am privileged to work for.
I will trust in my many blessings, and praise God for them. I will continue to work hard and God willing I can be calm about where I'm supposed to go from here... 29 years old...
Ok, don't take this the wrong way, because I am 150% sure that you are an AMAZING mom, but you should read "Simplicity Parenting." As dramatic as this sounds, it changed our lives! It is amazing. There is an entire section about finicky eaters. My favorite tip is...if you prepare a meal that you KNOW your children like and they choose not to eat, then they may help themselves, key word here, to a predetermined snack/meal option. It stresses that parents are not created to serve their child's every whim, so after you present dinner if your child refuses they are allowed to eat their preapproved snack/meal but they must get it for themselves. So if Ian refuses supper, he may eat a full apple and that is his ONLY option besides be hungry. He has to wash it in the sink himself, and that's supper. I will not slice it for him because I have already prepared our supper, and thems the breaks. Works like a charm.
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