It's HARD being a mom!

Intense is really the only word I have to describe 2010 so far. As I sit and type this my house is quiet...except for the rattle coming from Will's chest. Everyone is sleeping. Tyler will be getting up very soon to get ready for work. Lucy and Will are just settling in for the night. It is a rare moment that I have to myself. Actually... it's rather funny because even though I long for moments like this from time to time when granted the opportunity I often feel...alone and sad. :)

Lucy and Will have been sick for weeks. Will is struggling with his ears and hopefully our trip to St. Anthony in April to get tubes will solve the majority of his health problems. Lucy was in the ER this past week with a 105.7 fever that we could not seem to get down. VERY scary! A day later we found out she had strep. Two days later she's back to her old funny self. She's beautiful! I still can't believe she's mine.

My Will is changing before my very eyes. Seven months old, trying to crawl, four teeth and one more peeking through and the most handsome and sincere smile you've ever seen! That boy can make your heart melt.

Since I last blogged a lot has happened. Tyler's job moved to Salem and he turned 26...yay! Madeleine Fox our niece turned ONE and I simply can't believe it! She's the sweetest little thing you ever did see! Michael, my brother-in-law, turned TWENTY-TWO YEARS OLD. He was 13 when Tyler and I started dating...he IS the little brother I always wanted! Joe, Adrienne, Allison and Benjamin finally moved into their new BEAUTIFUL home on Finch Lane. We've had a few American Idol parties there and it is without a doubt the most comfy home ever built. It just feels safe...and like home. I'm so happy for them.

Lately, in my world I've been feeling a bit... weird. Or maybe sad is the more accurate term. It's hard being a mom. I now have this overwhelming sense of respect and understanding for my mom, grandmothers, sisters, friends...etc. I feel like this juggling act that I've got going on with my different roles in life isn't much to brag about. I keep dropping the ball in different areas and I can't seem to find the right rhythm to keep things going. It CAN be done. I've watched all the women previously mentioned do it with ease. I just have to figure out what works best for me. I want to be a good wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, co-worker... I don't want to let anyone down but I also don't want to let myself down. I've been asking myself a lot of questions lately and having a hard time dealing with the answers. It will all be ok. Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start.

Today I found this book my mom gave me for Christmas in 2005. She made Adrienne, Margaret and I all one. It's entitled...Why Every Daughter Needs a Mom. The woman who wrote the book came up with 100 reasons why every girl needs their mom. On each page, after each reason, my mom wrote a corresponding thought, lesson, memory or funny quote. I loved the book when I opened it. I appreciated the time and effort it took to personalize each page with memories that would only ever exist between the two of us. But today, five years later, I took it off the shelf when looking for a "new" book to read with Lucy I was surprised by my reaction. I cried as I read each page to her. I think Lucy was sort of afraid but the point is I look forward to the day I can write down some of my favorite memories that we will make as a family. :) I am in awe of my Mom...or MOTHER as I so lovingly refer to her from time to time (she hates it). She will never understand proud I am to belong to her and my dad. She is amazing although I think she rarely realizes it. Thank you, Mom, for being you! I love you!